The '59 sound

so i'm blogging like theres no tomorrow at the moment, but i guess i just have a lot on my mind.

I spend so many hours thinking, dreaming, drifting, trying to make sense of it all and then tonight i think that maybe thats my problem.

Where has this year gone? how many mistakes have i made? NONE.

I need to check myself, my life is great, and I am actually happy, so whats with all the sad vibes i get here and there.

I realise, that is LIFE. these things are designed to make your stronger, prouder, better at everything you do. I know one day there will be someone that matters to me as much as I want them to. And i know the slips and tangles i come across on the way will shape me to be that person i need to be.

I keep looking forward, and think how fortunate I am. My life has not been scarred by illness, my life has not been waylaid by unfortunate events. Theres no drugs. NO abuse. Nothing i have should make me feel sad. So it's not going to. YOU cant make me sad.

When my Aunty was taken by cancer, we didnt get much notice. WE didnt have time to make things right. We didnt have time to be honest. I have all the time in the world to do that now. So let me do that :) I'm going to keep doing whatever it takes.

xoxoxo

ha. easy decision.

so.

i just wrote about ten things i want to say to people.

i re-read it.

you weren't one of them.

i guess this makes this decision so much easier, but maybe i dont know how to say it....

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now

1. What happened to 'we can always be together'
2. I never meant to hurt you
3. Dont get caught up in the fantasies.
4. Have more fun with your life.
5. YOu need a new challenge.
6. I miss you so much
7. I hate you for wasting my time, BOTH times.
8. I'm hurt that you didnt come to my birthday, or my housewarming, or anything i Invited you to recently, but then I feel I failed at being a friend for not being there, or visiting you when you were sick. I don't know whats worse.
9. YOu're a strange friend, but i know that at my lowest point, you would always be there for me. I Spent hours by your side after your surgery and every minute thinking about you and hoping you were ok. That makes you my strange friend an amazing special person in my life.
10. Stop Taking your clothes off, stop taking drugs, unless you think its the only thing want in your life, not the only thing you can do. Theres so many more things out there and you are worth so much more. But do it for yourself. I dont want to to tell you how to live but i Just did. I wonder what would have happened if id been in your life longer.

Ten Days of Blogging...

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

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I keep telling my heart to let go of you

Sent from my iPhone

where's your (my) head at

so naturally this morbid series of posts will end. perhaps even require some explanation.

nahhh.

But i do wish there was something/someone that would make me forget about him.

Deadweight

Why can't I get rid of this sinking feeling

Sent from my iPhone

The world is..

Flat.

That's how I feel today.

Sent from my iPhone

Broken glass

So it actually hurt to see someone else call you "my *****"

Sent from my iPhone

Sleep in

8 am is a sleep in right?

Sent from my iPhone

Bittersweet

Did you know I wear your hoodie to bed everynight, only wearing my lace underwear underneath.

zZzZz

you're so far away, yet your every word is stopping me from letting my heart go....

unlinking

amazing. linked in toook over my contacts. so crazy. so many people are asking me if they should join because i sent them an email. i definitely dont remember doing that.

four hours until i'm 27. and i'm at home on a saturday night like a nanna.

the weather is horrendous outside

the old fridge we've been trying to get the real estate to remove looks like its going to blow off the balcony, the wind is so strong.