armour for sleep

I wanna live again
I wanna start everything over again
I wanna get this right
I'll meet you in another life
Over again
I'm coming back around again
Coming back over again
I'm coming back around again,
but now it's over

We're out of time and I can't breathe
I told you not to believe in me
'Cause all I do is push you far away from me
All I do is push you far away from me
Out of time and I can't breathe
I told you not to believe in me
'Cause all I do is push you far away from me
All I do is push you far away from me

I'm gonna make this work
I'm gonna change everything wrong with me
I'm gonna prove you wrong
when I meet you in another life
Over again
I'm coming back around again
Coming back over again
I'm coming back around again,
but now it's over

We're out of time and I can't breathe
I told you not to believe in me
'Cause all I do is push you far away from me
All I do is push you far away from me
Out of time and I can't breathe
I told you not to believe in me
'Cause all I do is push you far away from me
All I do is push you far away from me

I never had the gift of holding on to you
You're so far, so far away
No I, never had the gift of holding on to you, now
You're so far, so far away

I wanna live again
I wanna start everything over again
I wanna live again
I wanna start everything over again

We're out of time and I can't breathe
We're out of time and I can't breathe
I told you not to believe in me
'Cause all I do is push you far away from me
All I do is push you far away from me

I seriously love the way you look at me!!! Xo

I seriously love the way you look at me!!! Xo

Sent from my iPhone

Fun Times and Play things

I'm feeling a strange sense of accomplishment, coupled with oodles of boredom at the moment.

I've tried to live the 'normal life this week'. A few long days at work, but home every night this week. Most nights I 've cooked dinner for myself. I've watched the slightest amount of TV (for as long as i could tolerate). Theres been no alcohol (save for one really small glass, of a poor house white at lunch on Monday) - stress relief. In bed at 8.30pm, read till about 9.30pm and crash out. Then... up at 06.00am. Is that what a normal life is supposed to be like? Is this how people save money? I'm really bored . This wont last.

Barbie's Dream Home...

Theres a house i pass almost every day on my way home that i think of
as my dream house...

I just doubt ill ever make it to tgat stage of my life. Everytime i
find something good i run away and torture myself instead!

Sent from my iPhone

you make me crazy when you...

amazingly i've been looking at some photos today.. of friends who just got married.. and it was odd.. that could of been me.

There was one particular couple in particular that made me think.

Back when i was a heartbreaker, a certain young man, broke off an engagement, to spend time with me. I didnt encourage this, i certainly didnt discourage this and i certainly wasnt the most prominent reason it happened. but it happened though.

IN typical LB form.. when the going got tough.. and things got close.. i bailed.

It's what i do...

YUP

You kill me..

I miss the way your hand rests on my arm

Sent from my iPhone

craving you....

why can't you want me like all the other boys do
they stare at me
while i stare at you

why can't i keep you safe as my own
one moment i have you , the next you are gone

rehearsed steps on an empty stage
that boys got my heart
in a silver cage

why can't you want me like all the other boys do
they stare at me
while i crave you

i walked into the room
dripping in gold
i walked into the room
dripping in gold
a wave of heads did turn
or so i've been told
my heart broke
when i saw you kept your gaze controlled



its true i crave you

lets just stop and think
before i lose faith
surely i cant fall into a game of chase

around his little finger
that boy has got me curled
i try to reach out
but he's in his own world

this boys got my head tied in knots
with all his games
i simply want him more
because he looks the other way....

go ahead, i'm weaker than you can possibly imagine....

mid week. dwelling....

I think people would be surprised at the amount of things i'm really scared of... how nervous i get about so many thing.. I just dont show it.

Playing netball is one of them. Time to end the career i think.. its not for me....

whats the closest you can come, to a total wreck?

ayiyiyi. I wish i knew how to write that word as well as it sounds.

I had forgotten just how great Jawbreaker + Last Days of April were as bedtime music. total love.

been having long long long thoughts about how the ghosts of my past seem to be popping back into my life all at once. its almost concerning, but flattering at the same time. There are secrets and truths springing up from the ground like winter daisys (do they grow in winter?)

In a way it's added a HUGE weight on one shoulder... the other is still heavy. Gee i must look pretty lopsided.


p.s. detox... going well i drank half of what you are supposed to get through in a day - i'm easing into it. I still had a full meal tonight as there is no way i want to lose weight. Gotta keep that flesh on me!!

detox...

anyone that knows me, would know that i'm quite fond of a drink, and more often than not... if you ask me to have one with you, the answer will be an excited yes!

So interestingly, i will tomorrow be emarking on the 'lemon detox' to 'cleanse my body'

This should be verrrry interesting...