Clarity

I'll take your words as if you were talking to me.
Say what I know you'll say and say it through your teeth.


So. Seems there was a bit of a drunken rant last night. so who thought it was a good idea to set up my blogger so i could post directly from notes in my iphone.


With pride keep every failure in.
And with pride hold on to the sinking.


So i guess i need to clarify a few things and explain them to myself as sober maybe. cause drunk maybe sure is emotional. I just grab jacks hand and run with it.


Now in the deep and down your heart moves.
Now in the deep and down, I don't know how but I know I want out.
Wait for something better.


I seem to continually get myself into these little flurrys of upset... i talk myself into things being worse than they are, stupid imaginations running wild. It's not really that bad. my concept of time is just retarded. it feels like weeks and weeks have passed but really its only been days. thats point one.


Will I know when it can be us?
Maybe that doesn't mean us.


POint two. whilst jack likes to make me think i want to go back in time. Really i dont. The lows had started to outweigh the highs. Sober maybe knows this. Being around great people makes me realise this even more. Its definitely time for me to stop living on my own...


Wait for something better?
I shouldn't, it's not enough.


Why do i want to give up my freedom? my freedom is what i love the most about my life. i can be carefree all the time. i rarely have to think about others... does this make me selfish....


Pull one excuse from another.
Just one excuse from another.


Extremely random thought processes right now.. nothigns flowing, nothings making sense. a holiday is going to be exactley what i need. but i think i also need to do anothersolo adventure. to somewhere i've never been. clear the mind...... need to make this happen soon.
I do feel like i've sorted my thoughts out a little. drunken adventures are always great with that.. now just to get myself looking healthy and hot again and not a mess! POSITIVE ENERGY.


This time it means us. stop.